self care pwb0581 Paul bundren

Self care and self love I feel is not a bad thing 

The world may be dark cold and grey

But stay true to yourself 

Never lose who you are due to someone else's coldness 

Never let them see you sweat 

Never let them see you fold under pressure 

Sometimes it is ok to take a step back 

And respect your boundaries 

You don't have to change who you are for the likes of someone else 

cutthroat pwb0581 Paul bundren

It feels like Someone turned things from easy into a 100 in a blink of an eye 

The environment has turned hostile cuz of hate

Lifelines are gone 

Pickens are getting slim

It is complete chaos 

We are losing our homes

And digging through garage cans 

Not that sanitary 

What ever happened to love 

We are now living in induced misery 

The fire is freezing 

The drive that we once had had stalled 

This isn't the American dream that I grew up hearing about 

You can no longer afford to survive 

The rich want it all and want it now 

The fortune the fame the power 

And leave us scavenging for what is left 

Unfortunately it seems to be everyone for themselves and people are taking each other out one by one 

Does everything have to be a competition 

Does everything have to be a game 

Does everything have to be a race against time 

It feels like everyone is emotionally drained 

And checked out including myself 

Is the prize even worth the pain endured

clean pwb0581 Paul bundren

How do I get clean again 

I feel like I have been off track 

For far too long 

How can I be myself again 

I feel like I have been going under 

How do I find my way 

Through so many twisted paths

I feel like there is so much going on 

It is hard to understand and process all of it 

One wrong move can cost me everything

How do I get my hands clean again 

I think I drawn a line in the sand

It feels like there is no coming back from 

Can't change mistakes made in the past can only try to avoid them in the future

Is it too late to make amends

How do I get clean 

It feels like things are stained 

Permanently tarnished 

Can't go back to the way things used to be 

when a heart breaks pwb0581 Paul bundren

This is not a storybook romance 

More like a disastrous nightmare 

This is hard but 

When a heart breaks 

Sometimes it doesn't break clean 

More like scattered tiny little pieces 

On the floor that can't be glued together 

I know we intended this to be a long term commitment but I think I want to back out of this 

anymore this feels forced and not consensual 

This isn't what either of us want 

This isn't what I am looking for 

And I want out of this

Sorry if I sound cold 

But I feel like this is not right for me 

I want to end this for all and not go forward 

No I do not want to start over again 

I don't want to repair this 

I don't want to fix this anymore 

I think I am through 

No more playing games 

I think I just want this to be over for good this time 

I know that this will mess with my head

And be hard to get over 

When heart breaks 

It doesn't break clean 

dead pwb0581 Paul bundren

I feel so lifeless and scared 

I don't feel like myself anymore 

It feels like people want me to react and respond to things on a little or no notice that I know nothing about and I am feeling vulnerable 

Don't really know where to turn to

It feels like I am being pointed in a lot of different directions and I feel lost 

Things feel like they have been dead for so long 

Can you please bring some life into me

Why is everything so forsaken 

It feels like we are starting on hollow ground

And the environment has become unstable 

Don't know where we stand 

When everything is changing 

I feel like there is a lot going on 

It is hard to understand and process all of this

There is a lot of chaos and confusion

I don't want to jump into something that I don't know anything about 

And be a fool or an idiot 

I would like to make educated decisions rather than emotional quick responses 

And doing something I will regret 

It is getting harder to tell what is true

When there is a lot of fakery going on 

Am I even sure that I want to buy what you are trying to sell me what is the benefits and what is the cons and is it genuine 

Things are getting harder to recognize what is real 

Why does it feel like I stand on my own 

And nobody agrees 

And we stand divided 

Is there any hope 

The feeling I get is almost like I am drowning

withdrawn pwb0581 Paul bundren

If was to leave who would notice

Who would care 

I feel like I am in the middle of a party that I wasn't invited to and I don't belong here 

I feel withdrawn

Like my soul has left my body 

I feel like my mind is racing 

So many new things being thrown at me 

That I don't understand 

Things are not slowing down actually speeding up out of control 

I do feel like a fish dead out of water sometimes out of my element 

Out of my comfort zone 

Like a deer caught in headlights 

Things are not getting any simpler 

I try to pretend and act like I am forever young

Be a kid at heart and try to keep good spirits 

But it reality it feels like I am dying 

I don't want this to be my swan song 

But nothing can last forever 

Sometimes you got to know when to fold em

And let go 

calm down pwb0581 Paul bundren

I am not a robot 

I am not a machine 

I do have feelings 

Whether or not people care

Sometimes I feel like shutting down and letting go of everything 

What is more important 

What I am putting out and giving or my health 

When being put in a situation where you are being sabotaged I don't think your best interest are in mind and the relationship is not healthy and I feel like it is probably time to end it 

Please don't tell me to calm down when everything is going on so fast speeding up all of a sudden and there is a lot of chaos and I am trying to process it 

Please don't tell me to calm down and be quiet 

After being hyper and on high alert over what has been going on 

Feeling like I am being pushed over the edge 

Please don't tell me to wait and stand by 

While being set up to fall 

I heard from somewhere that you were talking to other people and that I was just a scapegoat that I was only a back up option when your side jobs fail it makes me wonder if you ever gave a fuck about me or just using me all along 

I don't think want to continue anymore 

I think I am done