Thursday, August 1, 2024

pwb0581-ch 13- karma with trauma written by paul bundren

 

pwb0581 ch13- Karma with Trauma

1-karma- I’m gonna get U I’m gonna get U 10X worse than U got me I’m gonna get U I gonna get U.   Oooo.. U are gonna wish U never fucked with me O lets go!

Bang bang hammer head this is gonna stay in UR mind did U think this through don’t bite more than what U can chew cuz UR gonna choke

I’m gonna get U I’m gonna get U 10X worse than U got me I’m gonna get U I gonna get U.   Oooo…. U are gonna wish U never fucked with me O lets go!

2-sharks O swimming- O-E-O    O-E-O    sharks O swimming hope one of those fuckers kill me quickly O-E-O sharks O swimming

Don’t get the jaws of life don’t revive me just let the dead sleep leave me be

Don’t really care about the world today would rather just leave Don’t really want to live in this world in the state it is today

O-E-O sharks O swimming 1000 things it feels is out to get me Ooooo..  if you are going to kill me just do it quickly!

Don’t get the jaws of life don’t revive me just let the dead sleep leave me be

3-trauma- I can’t fuction I’m so confused held on to all of this anger for so many years I wasn’t really ok I wasns’t really fine but faked it anyway

Avoiding questions asked hiding the pain hiding the trauma some I guess was self inflicted I come from a broken fragile family with all sorts of issues

Please forgive me if some of this comes out inappropriately had a tough time communicating some don’t understand me

I try to speak up but find myself mumbling O why am I such a klutz so scared that something is going to happen I keep falling over myself

I need to let the anger go, let the anger go, cant let it consume me, can’t let it eat me up anymore. Let the anger go. Let the anger go.

4-stand alone- mothers weeping after she buries here young signs ignored society of disreguard Junkies O.D. on a highway to nowhere why did we get this far

We are giving away the pills. It is like we are intentionally throwing it in peoples faces Does anybody even bother? Does anybody care? I do even if I stand alone

Walking on the surface trying to find the core of the rot in the mirror the reflection is me I guess I cant expect something to get done tomorrow if I don’t start today

Maybe that is part of the problem doing nothing results in nothing Don’t handout cheap trills to those who steal your pride

Don’t let is get this far do something fight back even if you stand alone Ooo, I stand , I stand alone, Ooo I stand, I stand alone

5-not love- it is not love it is pain O baby!   It is not love it is pain. Why do you keep doing it?

You are addicted to the company but when the dawn comes it turns out to be one night stands O baby it’s not love its addiction!

It is not love and when the night is done you are left empty and alone You are addicted to the dick and when he cums then he goes

O baby it’s not love it’s a sham its not love why do you keep coming back to the same situations

You end up getting used and finding yourself alone. You don’t truly want this O baby it’s not love its fiction!

Don’t fall for it. It is a scam he doesn’t love you only what he can get from you.   You should just say no and run!!!

6- this next song is dedicated to all those who struggle with mental health and addiction issues help is out there

 I too suffer from this illness it is a never ending battle you are not alone.

Help is available national suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255 crisis text line 741 741

7-angels-I could never heal you I could never help you I could never understand what was killing you

I could never solve your issues or your problems cuz I had my share of my own I could never be the one to heal your pain

It eats me up now that you are gone felt like I could have should have done something and I didn’t

May the angels lift you up cuz I wasn’t able to May the angels love you cuz my heart was empty May the angels give you peace from this war down below

And may the angels give you closure ease the confusion and chaos and take it all away

Reminisce from all of my family that came and past my biggest regret is I wish I could have been there for them when they needed me

More emotionally than physically I get the sense that none of them know me anymore

I left you alone abandoned only to hear about you years later after I found out you died

May the angels ease your pain cuz I was never able to. I could never figure out what was wrong

May the angels lift you up cuz I wasn’t able to May the angels love you cuz my heart was empty May the angels give you peace from this war down below

And may the angels give you closure ease the confusion and chaos and take it all away

8-cut the cord- I feel like I need to pick up the scissors and start cutting

Idk what 2 say to u I’m so scared and feel like u are unapproachable and I am expendable I don’t mean nothing 2 u

Like u don’t care and I am wasting my f’n time on a free fall to my grave making my deathbed I know I cant carry on livin like this

Letting you beat me up emotionally while you take everything guess I am the fool for letting this continue

But I keep feeding you and staving myself paying you and robbing myself slaving for you while you sloth

Letting you steal from me and doing nothing about it

 

9- frozen cold- O baby! It feels so frozen cold what you do to me. You promise me forever then give me a 1 night stand

O baby it feels so frozen cold and I’m all alone I was better off alone than to be led by fake love

O baby it feels so frozen cold how when you are alone no one sticks up for you They believe others word before yours

O baby it feels so frozen cold in some way I guess I was probably asking for it

I never really bothered to answer back so I guess it is expecting for you to do the same to me I guess I know the reasons why and I’m to blame

Walking alone in a winter storm with hurricane winds I should have known I was the fool

O baby it feels so frozen cold what you do to be.  You promise me forever then give me a 1 night stand

10-departure- they wont understand but I think this needs to happen they will be shocked I cant put myself in this position again

I see how you’ll probably label me the enemy and we probably wont be friends after this

I need some space to myself and I think you need the same. there is really nothing or anyone to blame.

But we cant continue and I know you don’t understand. This knocks me to my feet this decision was killing me to make but I have to walk on

You were probably picturing me to spend the rest of our lives taking vacations but unfortunely most of the time that only happens in fantasy

You were making an ass of yourself by assuming I’d come rescue you after I was left high and dry, Ooo no!, a no no.

I know you don’t, maybe will never understand but this needs to happen I need to clear my head

I see how you’ll probably hate me and how you may come after me but I have to let you go

I need some space to myself and I think you need the same. there is really nothing or anyone to blame. But we cant continue and I know you don’t understand.

11-Star in my eyes- U don’t need $ to be with me all I need is UR love U don’t need a sports car or that diamond ring I just want UR love

U don’t need to be on a big silver screen U are already a Star in my eyes baby lets dance like no one is watching

I want to hold you tonight like there is no tomorrow if you like you are shining so bright I don’t want to let you go

Boy I don’t care what anybody says I want U I don’t know if you notice but U are a star in my eyes

12-won’t be turning back- I don’t see a reason to go back anymore lately I have grown tired and bored I almost don’t care what U think I’m so done

Sometimes you act like you own me and that I am not supposed to have any rights Sometimes you act like you’re better than me and that my life is a crime

You should know that nothing is set in stone and I never made any promises just want myself back and get you out of my head

You should know to think better that I am a human being with feelings not a robot you can manipulate use and control

When you think you have me all figured out guess what you don’t know a single thing about me I wont be turning back to your empty lies

I was fine before I met you I’ll be fine without you I don’t need the bullshit of what you think you can get me to do what you can get me to be

You are the one who is going to end up being left behind And I won’t be turning back for you

13-someone else’s life- I feel like I am living someone else’s life. this life I feel is no longer mine. I let myself go carried up on you

I am living someone else’s life. I am living someone else’s lie. Nothing seems or feels real anymore.

All the work I feel lie I am putting in is for everyone else fueling the fire just to cut me down

Not matter what I do to please you I’ll never be good enough for you. fake, Everything seems so fake.

14-break a broken heart- you break me I’m already broken. You cant break an already broken heart

Crash down bend N broken crushed N ripped apart I was damaged from the start

If you want you can try to fix me but i don’t want to drag you down you should know I have scars

am I crazy? Please say I’m not crazy. I feel like I am crazy. Like I lost my fucking mind

15--I need to unclutter my mind get rid of the junk in my life all of this baggage weighs me down I need to unload

No longer want to feel obligated no longer want to be glued no longer want to give in I want to resist

This never worked for me only for everybody else this isn’t coming up with solutions only creating more problems

Holding all of this inside is holding me down and I don’t know if I can abide by someone else’s guidelines of how to life my life I feel this is not right 4 me

16- slow down we don’t have to do this right now. Slow down sometimes it is better off if we take a break. Do we have to build Rome today?

Hurry up lets go, no just wait. I just want to slow down shut down too much pressure does anybody else feel the same.

Tired of being put into a box of who what I am and not supposed to be. Slow it down hit the brakes we don’t have to do this lets not go there

17- the same stuck cycle repeated. The same off pitched song distorted. The same god damn excuses shoved down my throat

The same god damn lie time after time never a reason why just got to dig thru the b.s.

Cant find an answer just more questions this line is looking identical to the ones I wrote before

Should I throw my life away for someone else to do it to someone else tick tock tick count the bodies.

The well drained dry. The lives expended. I feel your apology is not true. You don’t mean what you say just take take take

18- I am not going to lie I worry all the time thinking how I can save you but I don’t even save myself

I feel like I left a lot of things on the backburn but this is kind of weighting on my mind

I can’t ignore and leave you in the gutter but at the same time I have to take care of myself

20- how could you let this go on 4 so long fall so hard does anybody even know? Does anybody who U are anymore?

How could you fall so far down in the gutter? I thought you’d be strong enough to get past this.

I didn’t know you needed hep or I would have tried to lend you my hand

I feel so selfish only thinking about my pain and did not see yours I feel so blind

 

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